Of Hope

I used to think I had to create hope inside of me. Hope was an attitude change. Hope was my obligation. When I struggle with hopelessness I also struggle with condemnation.

But that doesn't make much sense. If I am unable to save myself how can I reach deep inside and pull out hope?

What if there are two different types of hope and one of them is a gift? There is hope tied to faith. This is the goal. This is the intellectual acknowledgement that my salvation is secure. And then there is the hope that permeates like spring air.

I can live without it. In fact, I have lived without it for a while. I know the hope that you choose: you know where you're going, the cost to get there, and the fact that no one is going to help you.

When I see other people rolling around in the second kind of hope like it's ice cream, I tend to think that I need to work harder. As if I could achieve blessing. But I know the source of blessing. And I know He does not withhold what is good for us. And then there is the perspective of the first century church: it is a blessing to suffer with Christ.

I know I cannot create hope inside of me. But I can keep my heart from becoming hard by continually opening it to the promises of God.