I am sitting in the Denver airport, looking at the white
world outside—so different from the green and blue one that I just left. The
blowing snow gives a feeling of comfort and safety, like we are an island under
a blanket. The airport is full and bustling with people arriving and departing,
and yet it seems more quiet than loud. No one to talk to here. So I sit and
enter into conversation with the Lord. Together we’ve been looking over my
life, especially the last few years of it.
He hasn’t painted a clear picture of what’s ahead for me.
But we play a game where I guess. I dream up visions and paintings. He doesn’t
confirm or refute them. But we go through them together and pick them apart.
Sometimes He tells me it is a good vision because it is full of the things that
He loves. Sometimes He explains why I want those things. Sometimes He shows me
how my desires have so completely changed.
It’s funny how a year and a half of your life can
fundamentally change who you are. I can’t predict whether I’ll “pass or fail”
in the next stage of my life. But I know that there are things inside of me
that are very different. So I feel this confidence from the Lord that I will
approach things differently.
I am so grateful for the people in my life in Florida and
how much they taught me and poured into me. I kind of feel like I’m returning
to my real life from Narnia. I know that some things will be hard and
disappointing. I know that I will miss Narnia. But I am excited to do this life
well now. Because there are people and places and things that I love here too.
And my God is not done with me.
