Lawnmowers

I just finished mowing the lawn...
We have a riding lawn mower and a considerably large lawn to mow. I am not an expert with this machine, but I normally do fairly well. So I was out there for a while mowing away, alone with my thoughts...that's basically all you can do on a lawnmower is think. It's much to loud for a phone call, too attention demanding to read a book or write or draw, and I doubt that listening to music would do much good. So I was mowing and thinking. And suddenly the lawnmower started making a horrendous noise that made me jump.(Riding on top of a spinning blade makes me a little jumpy anyway)

In my head I saw this image of the gas tank under my seat exploding in a ball of flame, taking me with it, but just as quickly I knew I wouldn't die. Why? Indonesia. I am confident that God called me there, and that He has a purpose for me there. Therefore, I will live until I get there. It's like when Peter is sleeping in prison in Acts because he knows he will live. How? Christ told him that when he was old he would be carried where he didn't want to go. This meant he would grow old. I have realized that most of the time I have this confidence too, that I will not be dying in the next four months. Maybe I should go skydiving...or base jumping, or go do dangerous things just for kicks! But then I realized that would probably be something like testing God....so...forget that.

But if I were to go out on a lawnmower, it wouldn't be so bad. I wouldn't mind dying right then and there in a fiery ball. Why? Cause I am content that in the last year, I have been far from perfect, but I have tried earnestly to grow and please my Savior. I have had intimate moments with Him and a growing honesty and humility in our relationship, and I am content with that. But also...to die on a lawnmower would not have much of a greater purpose would it? Not to say that we can understand God's purposes, but no one's going to put my flaming lawnmower on the front of a TIME magazine saying "Christian dies boldly for the Gospel." I doubt it would inspire hundreds to go on the mission field, or anybody to come to a saving faith! Why should this make me happy? Well, the way I see it, the only reason I would die on that lawnmower would be because God wanted to bring me home! And that makes me smile. I think maybe, if Enoch had lawnmowers in his time, that God took him while he was on a lawnmower.