The Overdue Update

Dear friends,

I know an update is long overdue--but I have been waiting to let myself process some thoughts first. It seemed to me that some things might be easier to write about in hindsight. So here we go.

I am back in the States! (as most of you should know...) My last month in Indonesia was my busiest. Overall I would sum up my time there as a huge stepping stone for God and Beth. Just the process of getting there was a journey of faith as I pioneered the trip alone, figuring out visa, accomodations, schooling, dates etc. And then of course going by myself to a place in Java I had never been with no one I knew there was a step of faith for me.

The three months I spent there was a time of personal growth. I know God did some big things in my heart. It was just me and Him. I had some real hard spiritual times, some peaceful times, and some moments of fun. I learned a lot about God's Grace. I was challenged by Amy Carmichael's quote, "Missionary life is simply a chance to die," and challenged by how much of my flesh was still alive. It seemed to me that even after years of walking with Christ, I was no better at killing my flesh, choosing righteousness, and saying no to temptation.

But God reminded me of something in Jeremiah 23:

 ⁵ “ Behold, the days are coming,” says the LORD, 

      “ That I will raise to David a Branch of righteousness; 
      A King shall reign and prosper, 
      And execute judgment and righteousness in the earth. 
       ⁶ In His days Judah will be saved, 
      And Israel will dwell safely; 
      Now this is His name by which He will be called: 

      THE LORD OUR RIGHTEOUSNESS.


The Lord IS my righteousness. He has covered over my sin and washed me clean. I cannot strive for righteousness on my own--I will fail. And I realized that He has a different standard of righteousness than I do. My standard means being perfect--and I think I have to attain a sinless nature. His standard for me is that I would know Him, strive after Him, and come quickly to a place of repentance. His Grace is enough for me.


When I got back to the States I noticed something a little strange: I felt like I had a better grip on reality. It's hard to explain how living in America for so long surrounded by home-grown Americans often made Indonesia feel like a dream. I really believe my time there finally closed a chapter in the Life of Beth Dawson and opened a new one at the same time. I felt like me and God made some progress and the woman I am becoming felt a little more whole. 


My week in Florida was different than I thought it would be. Unexpectedly, I did go through a bit of culture shock. It was so easy to settle in over there and get back in touch with the world I used to know so well--and so easy to be out of touch with America, that coming back I had to adjust a little bit again. I had to adjust to the pace of the life, relationships, and the spiritual environment here. It was good to get on the plane and fly off to Idaho, knowing my Indonesian-speaking family would be able to understand a little bit better where I just came from. 


On Christmas Day I went with my parents to their small International Church, and as their little choir made a heartfelt attempt at the Hallelujah Chorus, I choked up and felt chills running up and down my spine. A little over a week ago I had been living in a land where the call to prayer sounds five times a day, and now I was hearing this choir boldly and joyfully proclaim God's Supremacy: "And He shall reign forever and ever/ King of Kings/ and Lord of Lords." I was so moved in my spirit by the beautiful sounds of those words! 


Overall this time in Idaho has been peaceful and refreshing. I read a book called "Evidence Not Seen" about Darlene Diebler Rose, a young missionary in New Guinea who was imprisoned by the Japanese in WWII. The book was beautiful, heart wrenching, close to home, and utterly inspiring. I felt like a changed person afterwards--like I had just been on a journey with a dear friend. 


Just yesterday, the 1st of the year, my parents and I drove up the mountain to visit some friends, the Herzogs. They were in Papua for a few years when I was young, and now they work with YWAM. It was a beautiful and refreshing weekend, but my favorite part was when we were sitting around the table talking about our Lord, His Church, the furtherance of the Gospel, and what the Lord is doing around the world. I felt such rich joy as I realized, once again, what a rich heritage I have been born into, I thought about the work of the Lord that I have ahead of me, and the Goodness of God in this past year. 


So 2011 is over. It was an interesting year with some hard things, some surprises, and some unexpected joys. On January 9th I will return to Florida to prepare for Patmos' spring term as I continue to help disciple this next generation to be modern day John the Baptists--preparing the Way for the Lord's return. We face new challenges as a ministry and as Staff and as always we are grateful for your prayers. And of course, the students need your prayers as well. 


May God bless you in this New Year with His Grace and Truth


Beth Dawson